glossy is good

it's hard when someone sends you, specifically, an ARC. even if you aren't really interested in the premise, you feel obliged to read it. thankfully, thus far, these ARCs have all been pretty good.

so when i got Up for Renewal, by Cathy Alter, i decided to give it a go even though my first impression was "what, another one?!" it seems like there's a spate of these lately -- someone tries 12 diets in 12 months, or 12 self-help methods, or in this case, uses women's magazines to fix one area of life a month. but ok fine, sheesh, i'll read the first 50 pages and then not feel guilty when i don't finish it.

imagine my surprise when i finished it! Alter is a snarky, smart narrator, with no illusions as to the potentially unempowering, vapid nature of her quest. but she says it herself [with my paraphrasing]: even as a feminist in today's world, aren't you tempted? look, they're all glossy and confident ... surely they can fix me!

and ok, sorry, i couldn't resist the above illustration. but this is, in fact, part of what Up for Renewal is all about: the weird and fraught intersection of empowerment and sexuality. Cathy starts out the book as a total mess; having casual cubicle sex (!) with a middle-manager, running after unavailable men, and generally feeling like sh*t after her divorce. her solution? women's magazines! well, ok, to be fair, she knows it's not a solution, but figures it might be an interesting way to start.

and, in fact, it is not only interesting but entertaining! my favorite moment in the book has to be her first assignment: learning to saran wrap a sandwich from Real Simple. yes, it's true. this was hilarious. and the meaning that she finds in it, well ... let's just say that no one else could have pulled off this book premise.

and who of us hasn't been tempted? i have never succumbed, but oh, so tempted. especially when i have those moments when i realize i have four author event shirts and the people who come to these things will eventually notice. this is why i'll be keeping my ARC -- there's a list in there of the 84 essential wardrobe items that i fully plan to utilize once my tax return goes through.

Alter ends up in a wonderful place (getting married to the right guy who is also 10 years younger than her) and acknowledges that it's not the magazines themselves, it's the fact that she worked on changing her life in the first place.

this stuff is addictive, and so is Up for Renewal. keep an eye out for it, it'll be out in July.

freebie

i don't usually read memoirs. perhaps i should rethink this policy. the last two i've read, Loose Girl and now I'm Looking Through You: Growing Up Haunted, have been shockingly good.

Jennifer Finney Boylan, formerly James Boylan, has mastered, in my opinion, the art of the memoir in I'm Looking Through You. there were moments where i actually laughed out loud (doesn't happen all that often reading, believe you me) and had to put the book down until i was done laughing. there were also moments of pathos, of family dysfunction, of family love, surprises and twists, and of course, some really creepy and some really lovely ghosts.

purportedly, this is about growing up with ghosts. but i suppose it also had to be about her experiences with gender -- it's a pretty big life thing to just leave out or touch on lightly. in fact, Boylan weaves her gender experiences with the hauntings in such a smart, interesting, and thought-provoking way that it all makes complete sense in the end. not to mention, this is a book that is completely appropriate for everyone, say, 13 and up -- not at all something i would have expected. i can think of a few teen customers at the store that will definitely want to buy this one, and i'll be recommending it to every customer i see in Memoirs & Biography from now until ... well, until i find a new favorite.

since i'm kind of cheating by reviewing something that is already available for purchase (albeit by a mere four days -- the laydown was January 15th), i've decided my penance will be to give my ARC to some interested reader. i'll be buying the hardcover anyway, i liked it that much (once you meet Gammie, you will completely understand. PIZAZZ!).

so! if you're interested, drop me a note in the comments expressing said interest, and i will mail it to you, free of charge, with my compliments. if more than one person expresses interest, then i promise to choose in the randomest fashion i can come up with, scout's honor!

sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll

sometimes you get ARCs for a specific reason -- the author is coming to do a signing, or you're going to a conference where they'll be. i don't think i would have picked up this one if it had come in randomly, not because of any particular reason (well, the cover is black and white and that's usually enough to miss my interest), just because. thank god for conferences!

Kerry Cohen's Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity is a fascinating read. it's autobiographical for a start; i can't recall ever shelving a book in memoir, biography, or non-fiction that dealt with this particular issue in this particular way.* and, as a self-written memoir (no ghost writer here, Cohen has an MFA) it's excellently put together. she's frank, simple, open, and while pulling no punches never sensationalizes. it's clear that she sees the story as very simple: things happened with her family that led her to search for [meaning, belonging, love, what have you] elsewhere, and, instead of drugs or alcohol, she found sex.

her path from promiscuity to a monogamous relationship is totally unique to her, but seems to me to be an example of the path from any addiction to recovery. this is probably (according to the dust-jacket, definitely) intentional; Cohen is a practicing psychotherapist, and while she avoids therapy-speak in the book (i never once realized that she had a degree in psychotherapy until i was done with the book and looked more closely at the author bio) it's clear that she understands why she did what she did and how her recovery began.

i think this is a great book, and an important one as well. if we ever want to really help our younger counterparts, we need to be frank and honest and open about things like sex, drugs, alcohol, self-esteem, family dysfunction, and all the other pitfalls and obstacles along the way. there but for the grace of god go we, and some of us have already been. and it's not always easy for girls to go to therapy, or talk to a trusted adult, or find answers -- and books are a safe way to get them. they don't know who you are, they won't judge you, and they won't tell anyone that you're reading them: the perfect friend.

ok, that's me on the soapbox. i'll get down now, and just say one final thing: can't wait to meet the author. i have a burning, burning question for her about word-choice, of all things. here's the question -- i'll post next week, when i return from kentucky with (hopefully) the answer:

Q: in the book, you refer to potential sexual partners as "boys", not ever "guys" or "men." i think maybe once you used the word "guys" to refer to friends, but when attraction was involved it was always "a boy." why is that?



*most books about women and sex tend to either demonize, idealize, or preach -- either you're a whore, or you're an empowered Lady Godiva, or someone talks about how to prevent you from being either (I'm thinking Reviving Ophelia mostly on this one, which is a great book but, let's face it, is all about telling parents how to avoid being the thing that sends their daughters to therapy).